us debt default survival guide

Hurry right up, come and get your US debt default survival guide. Believe me when i tell you if/when it happens you'll need to be prepared. So let't cut to the chase, pack light just three things:

1. 8x10 framed picture of GOP mafia - Who? none other than, Boehner and Cantor skinning and grinning from ear to ear. These two will undoubtedly delight themselves in winning the battle at the expense of the war. Of course it doesn't matter that they will have single handedly caused just as much if not more Americans to enter the rank of unemployed and jobless than the so called Great Recession. You'll undoubtedly want to thank them each and every moment of your waking hours going forward.
2. A shovel - Make sure you stop on by your neighborhood Lowes or HomeDepot and pick up a good heavy duty shovel. You'll need it to dig out your final resting place in your backyard. Surely, you won't want to delay in this purchase as shovels will sell out fast. So getting a head start at digging your own grave would mean you just might finish the job before your bank issues a foreclosure notice on your home. This is, of course, since you likely won't have a job, if you have one now, when employers can no longer afford to borrow at sky high interest rates, even with stellar credit. Oh and if you don't already have a job, forget it. Don't even bother looking for one com August 2nd, 2011, instead you might want to get a head start on the digging.
3. Mother in-law's Christmas gift - Sure you hated it and it served no practical use except to satisfy a check mark on a Christmas list; but now that the end is near that worthless tie or trinket is starting to look good. Besides, just in case you underestimate how long it will take for you to run out of oxygen in the wooden box of your makeshift grave, you can have something to remember what life was like before Boehner and Cantor ushered in your last days. So you can take both your 8x10 of the GOP mafia and your mother in-laws worthless gift and remember the good ole' days while you wait to die in your poor cheap wooden box.

There you have it, the US debt default survival guide. It's sure to bring peace to your final days. Of course, living out your natural life gainfully employed would have been better but Boehner and Cantor believed otherwise. Sorry Charlie.